Wow...!

OAKLAND, Calif., Dec. 1 — Until recently, many children who did not conform to gender norms in their clothing or behavior and identified intensely with the opposite sex were steered to psychoanalysis or behavior modification.

But as advocates gain ground for what they call gender-identity rights, evidenced most recently by New York City’s decision to let people alter the sex listed on their birth certificates, a major change is taking place among schools and families. Children as young as 5 who display predispositions to dress like the opposite sex are being supported by a growing number of young parents, educators and mental health professionals.

This is a fascinating article about new approaches taken by parents to nurture transgendered children, rather than force them to conform to the norms of their birth-sex.

My life would have been so very different had I been allowed to grow up as a boy!

Thing is, while a part of me wishes it had happened, mostly I'm glad my life took the path it did.

First, if I had been raised as a boy and therefore not gone into denial in my late teens and tried to live as a woman, I wouldn't have had my daughter--the light of my life! And what a huge, unimaginable loss that would have been. Being pregnant, giving birth, and mothering her are among the best experiences of my life.

And no, that doesn't make me doubt my manliness, but if it challenges yours, so much the better.

Being socialised as a girl against my will civilised me. In short, it forced me to learn to identify and deal with my emotions. When I was a kid and feeling most like a boy, I led a stunted emotional life. The only emotions I could name were happiness and anger. Grief, loss, empathy, fear, desire, sorrow, outrage, pain, and others were a huge, bewildering confusion that prompted me to behave reactively in ways I was totally unable to understand or take responsibility for.

This is allowed for boys (and men) and it was allowed for me when I was very young. The older I grew, however, the more society forced me as a girl to process my emotions, understand what I was feeling and why, and behave accountably. Which, over time, forced me to evolve as a person.

Don't get me wrong: I believe boys and men are just as capable of evolving as women. But society gives them a pass. If I'd been born a boy, not only would I have not been expected to process my feelings, I would have been pressured to cut off from them the older I grew. I likely would have become an angry, violent, macho jerk, as that's definitely the direction I was headed and the sort of community I was raised in.

I probably would have volunteered for the infantry in Vietnam (I wanted to at one point, but couldn't as a girl) which if I'd survived, would have fucked me up even more. I used to look at the many burnt-out vets homeless, addicted, and struggling on the streets of California, and think, "There but for the grace...."

Another thing, the standards my dad held me to as a girl were so much easier to meet than those applied to my brother. Consequently, I could do no wrong in my dad's eyes, whereas my brother was mercilessly criticised and belittled. You know how it is between fathers and sons, especially first-born sons. I avoided all that. My dad now regrets what he did, but my brother, in his 60's, is still affected by it.

Of course, this train of thought is running more toward if I'd been born a boy, not raised as a tranny boy. Presumably, if my parents had been enlightened enough to respect me as transgendered, they would have also ascribed to more humane and nuanced gender roles.

Now we're really drifting into fantasy, though, considering I was born and raised in the 1950's American West!

No, given the cards I was dealt, like I said earlier I'm grateful my life took the path it did. While it has been anything but easy, how many people in our gender-segregated society get to experience life as both a woman and a man?!

On the other hand, I'm also glad modern parents are nurturing their transgendered kids. I hope the trend grows. Any and all improvements in the way we practice gender are appreciated.

And while we're at it, let's advocate that everyone be treated with respect, dignity, and kindness regardless of sex, gender, age, race, nationality, religion, sexual orientation, or disability --have I forgotten any?

Complete story here.

And, oh, that's me in that photo above--many decades ago--on the left (naturally!).